Music Before the Money

“The doors opened and he was carried into the store by the mad rush of crazed women, fighting, screaming, clawing, scratching - all to get the coveted Cabbage Patch Doll.  Dolls were literally flying overhead as the women were screaming that they wanted a blonde, or blue eyes, or a redhead.  Fights broke out as 2 or more women all wanted the exact same doll.”

- Cabbage Patch Memories
http://collectdolls.about.com

I remember the Cabbage Patch craze and I really thought it had been brought on by the times. The early ’80’s was a time of uncertainty as the overspending and overbuilding of the ’70’s caught up. Bruce Springsteen wrote, “Foreman says these jobs are going boys and they ain’t coming back” And what time of year do you suppose that the bean counters with the large companies chose to lay off thousands of workers? You guessed it: Christmas. The Christmas of 1983 saw frenzies for Cabbage Patch dolls never before witnessed and this added to the aura of depression that hung over the Christmas season.

24 Years Later

In the past few years we have seen the rebirth of this odd social phenomena in the shape of Tickle-Me -Elmo-Dolls and PlayStation2. An employee of Toys ‘R Us in Mic Mac Mall during the Elmo craze, Kailin Glasgow, has a personal rendition of New York Yankees great Yogi Berra’s statement: “It’s deja vu all over again!” He lived through the Sesame Street puppet’s popularity and, this week, witnessed the Nintendo Wii madness.

“At Toys’ R Us,” Glasgow remembered, “we had a security gate that lifted up when we opened up in the morning. There was a large crowd waiting and, when they saw us in the store, some middle-aged ladies started shaking the gate. I thought it was going to come down on them!

Elderly Ladies Crawl After Elmo

“When the gate started to lift two of the ones up front got down on their knees and crawled under to be the first ones in. And they had dresses on!  Others tried to claw past them and then it was a stampede!”

Let’s fast forward two years. Glasgow now works for Best Buy and was tipped off that 60 of the Nintendo Wii’s were coming in and to be ready in the morning for a rush. When he left the store at 9:00pm the night before there was a long lineup already started in the cold temperatures. He arrived back to the store at 8:30am  and the line was three times as long. Many had stayed the whole night in sub-freezing temperatures.

Worse than Elmo!

“I remembered the Elmo thing,” he said, “so I was prepared for the worst. But it was even worse!”

Glasgow said the store had given out tickets to the first 60 people in the lineup to make sure they got a Wii. However, disgruntled buyers who never got tickets rushed the doors when it opened. “Cashiers were only supposed to cash out guys with tickets but some were intimidated and so guys without tickets got out with Wii’s.” So a few of those who had braved the elements, stayed all night and got a legitimate ticket came up short and left empty-handed.

Extortion

And there were others without tickets who used another method. “Some of the ones without tickets who rushed in and got to the Wii’s first, ” Glasgow went on, “grabbed a Wii and then told tickets holders who didn’t get one fast enough that they would only give it to them (the ticketholder) if they handed over some cash.”

FYI: Nintendo Wii’s will be available in larger quantities in mid January.

What Were They Thinking?

To these weird and frantic buyers who bullied other patrons using physical and mental intimidation to get a Christmas present I ask you to ponder some thoughts:

1. What ever happened to “peace and goodwill toward all men?”
2. What ever happened to, “It is better to give . . .”
3. What ever happened to Christmas?

“The doors opened and he was carried into the store by the mad rush of crazed women, fighting, screaming, clawing, scratching - all to get the coveted Cabbage Patch Doll. Dolls were literally flying overhead as the women were screaming that they wanted a blonde, or blue eyes, or a redhead. Fights broke out as 2 or more women all wanted the exact same doll.”

- Cabbage Patch Memories
http://collectdolls.about.com

I remember the Cabbage Patch craze and I really thought it had been brought on by the times. The early ’80’s was a time of uncertainty as the overspending and overbuilding of the ’70’s caught up. Bruce Springsteen wrote, “Foreman says these jobs are going boys and they ain’t coming back” And what time of year do you suppose that the bean counters with the large companies chose to lay off thousands of workers? You guessed it: Christmas. The Christmas of 1983 saw frenzies for Cabbage Patch dolls never before witnessed and this added to the aura of depression that hung over the Christmas season.

24 Years Later

In the past few years we have seen the rebirth of this odd social phenomena in the shape of Tickle-Me -Elmo-Dolls and PlayStation2. An employee of Toys ‘R Us in Mic Mac Mall during the Elmo craze, Kailin Glasgow, has a personal rendition of New York Yankees great Yogi Berra’s statement: “It’s deja vu all over again!” He lived through the Sesame Street puppet’s popularity and, this week, witnessed the Nintendo Wii madness.

“At Toys’ R Us,” Glasgow remembered, “we had a security gate that lifted up when we opened up in the morning. There was a large crowd waiting and, when they saw us in the store, some middle-aged ladies started shaking the gate. I thought it was going to come down on them.

Elderly Ladies Crawl After Elmo

“When the gate started to lift two of the ones up front got down on their knees and crawled under to be the first ones in. And they had dresses on! Others tried to claw past them and then it was a stampede!”

Let’s fast forward two years. Glasgow now works for Best Buy and was tipped off that 60 of the Nintendo Wii’s were coming in and to be ready in the morning for a rush. When he left the store at 9:00pm the night before there was a long lineup already started in the cold temperatures. He arrived back to the store at 8:30am and the line was three times as long. Many had stayed the whole night in sub-freezing temperatures.

Worse than Elmo!

“I remembered the Elmo thing,” he said, “so I was prepared for the worst. But it was even worse!”

Glasgow said the store had given out tickets to the first people in the lineup to make sure they got a Wii. However, disgruntled buyers who never got tickets rushed the doors when it opened. “Cashiers were only supposed to cash out guys with tickets but some were intimidated and so guys without tickets got out with Wii’s.” So a few of those who had braved the elements, stayed all night and got a legitimate ticket came up short and left empty-handed.

Extortion

And there were others without tickets who used another method. “Some of the ones without tickets who rushed in and got to the Wii’s first, ” Glasgow went on, “grabbed a Wii and then told tickets holders who didn’t get one fast enough that they would only give it to them (the ticketholder) if they handed over some cash.”

FYI: Nintendo Wii’s will be available in larger quantities in mid January.

What Were They Thinking?

To these weird and frantic buyers who bullied other patrons using physical and mental intimidation to get a Christmas present I ask you to ponder some thoughts:

1. What ever happened to “peace and goodwill toward all men?”
2. What ever happened to, “It is better to give . . .”
3. What ever happened to Christmas?

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point

a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries

with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it ‘in’.

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks . Once everyone has

gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write ‘for smuggling

diamonds’.

7. Finish all your sentences with ‘in accordance with the prophecy’.

8. Don’t use any punctuation.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious

face.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is ‘to go’.

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme?

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical

sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their

party because you’re not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock

Bottom.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream ‘I won! I won!’

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot,

yelling ‘run for your lives! they’re loose!’

19. Tell your children over dinner, ‘Due to the economy, we are going

to have to let one of you go.’

Now for some humor from Retired at 21

1 - Borrow money from pessimists — they don’t expect it back.

2 - Half the people you know are below average.

3 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

4 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

5 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

6 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

7 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

8 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

9 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

10 - When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

11 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

12 - Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

13 - I intend to live forever……so far, so good.

14 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

15 - If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

16 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

17 - Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

18 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

19 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.

I remember the day, 44 years ago. I was in grade 5 and it was a typical November day in the mountains - cold and the grass crunched underfoot.

At lunch break I went home and saw my mother watching the TV with her chin propped up by her hands. Her breathing was shallow and in the background was the deep voice of Walter Cronkite on CBS, the affiliate out of Spokane, Washington. President Kennedy had been shot, my mother explained, and we should pray that he is alright.

When I got back to school I saw a few teachers with tears in their eyes. I can’t remember if they sent us home but it seemed like the whole world was holding their breath - as if the news was misread.

There has been a lot written about JFK - too much. He wasn’t perfect and his term as a president was not exemplary until the year he died. Then, as if everything he said in his speeches jumped out of the page he stepped into his power and the world seemed to step into his vision - even the USSR. There was a new optimism in a world that was one button away from a nuclear war. Suddenly, we looked up to space, looked to help others in need and looked into ourselves - just like he had done.

It was a synergy that was only repeated one more time in my lifetime - so far. And that was in 1968 when his brother Bobby stepped up to the podium.

Then he was gone.

Then Martin Luther King was gone.

And, finally, Bobby was gone . . . . and the generation of hope slipped into the Dark Ages.