Yesterday, Ringo Starr walked off the set of “Live With Regis and Kelly” (a brainless show if there ever was one) rather than cut short one of his songs. He had planned to perform a song from his new album with Dave Stewart but his publicist Elizabeth Freund and the musical director never got together on the song’s length. You see, if you nudge the sponsor’s time then the network gets irritable.
Regis’s money machine said the song had to be 2 1/2 minutes or less but Freund never got the message. So, when told that his performance shortened Starr set out to cut about a minute of the song’s 4 1/4 minute down to 3 1/2 minutes but the producer Michael Gelman (probably under the network’s sword) replied that it had to be less than 3 minutes. Ringo even offered to just do the song but Regis would have none of that. Millions of people actually want to listen to a mummified talkshow host than Ringo’s song.
This is the way it has been since the first American Bandstand show. The network has a timeline and they are bound to stick by it. It reminds me of the Grammy show years ago when Frank Sinatra was getting an award. Because of the commercial time constraints they pulled the plug on Frankie. I imagine if he had been 20 years younger he would have gone up to the booth and punched the guy out. Billy Joel got the last laugh when, later in the show, he stopped in the middle of his scheduled song and said, “There goes one second of valuable commercial time . . . two seconds . . . three seconds . . .” It was a Grammy moment we’ll all remember. God help us if they had cut short one of the idiots getting an award for “Best Dance Number Performed in a Subway.”
We have to give the sponsors their money’s worth. No question about it. But why not cut short the banter from Regis and whatever blonde wonder he has or will have as a cohost. If the show can’t give up 1 1/4 minutes of listening that airhead, Kelly, talk about her shoes over listening to Ringo’s new song then Starr’s publicist picked the wrong show.